I love watching wedding shows. They entertain and educate. I am attracted to the interview minutes. The most interesting thing is how they met, how the man struggled to win the lady, how the lady pretended not to like the lad (So as to not look cheap) and eventually the proposal.
Mention is of churches, workplaces, college, seminars, other weddings, bars and even restaurants. More than always, they say it was love at first sight. The rest remain history, which exhibits the hidden powers of the man’s tongue and spirit.
Men struggle to propose. I wonder who introduced this practice to us. You hear of organizations in hotels, parties and God knows where. They buy rings, go on their knees, the lady “cries”, and upon being convinced that the public has had enough attention of them submits. I attribute kneeling down to worship.
When I read somewhere in the Holy Book (Revelations 22.8), I am reminded that none should worship any other except God. Why were they dating all these time? Was it not for an ultimate marriage? Here, I know the mixed reactions that will come my way, because the topic has been discussed for a long time.
Organizing for the wedding is a frenetic thing. One spends money, either his or borrows from friends and relatives. In short, other people help you in taking the woman to your house as a wife. Remember, winning her heart was a sole undertaking amidst threats from sponsors and mafisi Sacco: I hear they’ve got a new chairman.
From cakes, caterers, decorators, public address systems, card designers, venue for the reception and photo session, gowns, suits and dresses, pastor and church and coordination of the events call for money. It is here that your committee is burdened. Never forget the disappointments that will befall the process. I would not include photographers here because they keep memories (our memories are short).
It is joy and most people love the R. S. V. P they saw on their invitation cards, Rice Stew Very Plenty. But Chinua Achebe reminds us that it is an overstatement. Come evening you are left with your wife. That is when you begin to handle the real challenge. You must now bring up your family. Financial needs, relatives, making your woman happy, caring for the children. This is for a few months.
“Maji yakizidi unga”, you become careless. That is the point when something crops in, you cheat your wife not knowing she has been cheating on you since you first met her. Your integrity as a man and head of the family is not only threatened but beleaguered as well.
Problems knock in succession and they are never solved. The two of you remain in the same house only bearing names of husband and wife but it is no longer practical. Your wife cannot help in any manner. Disagreements lead to separation and divorce. Later we hear you on patanisho and wonder what went wrong. Respect to those who have survived the storm.
If one is sensible enough, they will realize that there was no love in this but infatuations and emotional attachments. People should cultivate love and make it real. Cultivating it requires the eyes, ears and brain. The mouth should be minimally used because it will result in competitions. For most Kenyans it begins by what is between the legs. They climb trees from the top! Not easy!