Home Gossip God, save us from these whatsApp groups

God, save us from these whatsApp groups

by Fichuzi News

I am not going to mince words: I hate WhatsApp groups. Not ALLWell, at least majority of them. I think a clause needs to be added to the Constitution about who can start a WhatsApp group, while its purpose and membership verified by a committee of experts led by the no nonsense Martha Karua, and co-chaired by Toni Braxton. Now, before you curse me in your dialect – an adventure that will cause my great ancestor Your Majesty, His Worship, The Great Senteu Ole Lenana to disgustingly sneeze in his grave – hear me out.

As the gods of technology will have it, I am a member of quite a number of WhatsApp groups. Interestingly though, I am a member of this groups NOT by choice or design, but by compulsion. I woke up one day and BOOM! someone had added me to Group A that brings together all family cousins. Yes, cousins. A year later – I’m yet to figure out WHY this group exists. Well, save for the fact that it’s prone to recycling old Internet jokes and occasionally sharing billions of unsubstantiated information.

Before I could blink and perhaps get my footing, without warning I had been added to Group B that is all about the youth outreach ministry in the church. The tagline was as worldly and wildly as Miley Cyrus concert could get: Holding it down for JC. The profile photo was a dude holding down a skimpily dressed damsel’s Bible. Okay, you get the point.

Not to be outdone, Group C audaciously emerged bearing my name as a member, you would think it had the monopoly of WhatsApp groups. It was about my colleagues at work with a loose tagline of ‘family for life’. Trust me, I am still coughing sarcastically. Now besides sharing photos of three-day-old babies and desperately trying to outdo each other on who had the most “middle-class weekend”. You know the likes of “I peleka’d my kids to Karen Blixen for lunch” or “I went for brunch at Sankara” – for crying out loud, I have no idea what value this group adds to life.

Within a matter of weeks, Group D calling itself Mafisi Reloaded was created, mostly comprising of old campus friends who had refused to grow up. If you ask me, its a group that brings together a bunch of men who are either in denial about their age or have never heard of middle life crisis. Honestly speaking, other than sharing salacious photos of daughters of Eve and a confused Arsene Wenger, I am yet to figure out why the group was created. Maybe they too are still trying to figure out why they created the group. Click page next below

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